one of our hardest days yet...

What a day.

Worst feeling ever...waking up to the words "Desmond's having a seizure".

I feel the need to write about this simply because it's therapeutic for me, so here it goes...

If you saw my post from yesterday- Desmond was sick all day with (what we think) was a stomach bug..vomiting and diarrhea, no fever or anything. Last night he seemed a little better, actually playing and stuff. He was drinking lots of pedialyte so he wasnt dehydrated. This morning is when the seizure happened. I woke up in a panic as my dad and Tony rushed out the door to take Desmond to the ER. I followed in my car. At that point Desmond was seizuring, I only got a glimpse of him in Tony's arms but that image will haunt me forever..seeing your child in such a state is terrifying. Tony was so brave to be holding him during all this... the seizure lasted about 2-3 minutes. He was really out of it after that for a while, he seemed confused and really tired. First thing they did was take his temperature...he didnt have a fever which is a relief but also not at the same time. You can have seizures from a high fever and usually if that's the case they just send you home..but since he had no fever they had to rule out a few things before we could go, the main included megingitus and a brain tumor..that's when the doctor warned us that today was going to be a long hard day for us. Next they did a urine bag on him to catch his pee for a urinalysis and then they did two draws to test his blood. That part was so hard, a nurse and I had to hold him down while they took blood..and it took a while too because the nurse apparently forgot to do the second vile so after she was done she had to try in the other arm which didnt take right away. He cried for a good hour and a half after we were admitted...one because he was so scared to even be there and two because of everything they were doing. He was very upset after the blood draw and kept trying to go to the door to get out. After a while they needed to do a spinal tap to check for meningitis. The doctor recommended Tony and I leave during that part. We stood out in the hallway but you could hear him screaming for the good ten minutes while they were doing the spinal tap. That's when I lost it...I went outside where the ambulances drop off and pleaded with God through my tears. Those few minutes felt like a lifetime. Soon enough my mom and Tony waved me in and thankfully the worst of it was over. No more pricks, just waiting to hear the results. At that point Desmond could have a bottle since we knew we didnt have to sedate him for the spinal tap. Grandpa brought his favorite toys and some books along with the pedialyte and he wasnt pretty happy from then on. He ended up falling asleep and taking a nap for an hour..we were so relieved he was able to rest.. A little while later the doctor and a pediatrician recommended we do a CT scan to rule out anything else. We talked to the doctor a lot about the risks from a CT and we decided it would be better to rule out a tumor, water on the brain etc. rather than take the risk of having one and not knowing. We learned that the scan ups a person's chance of brain cancer by 1. percentage of the 0.1 likely hood we already have of getting brain cancer. So it's really hardly anything and obviously a risk we were willing to take. We wheeled him in for the CT scan, he was pretty freaked out and cried quite a bit but thankfully it was over quick. We headed back to the room and waited for the results. At this point he was in a great mood...Grandma fed him some jello and he was happy and as normal as ever. The doctor came in and was just elated to see Desmond is good spirits, he even got him to smile- and strangers (especially the guy who gave him a spinal tap!) are rarely able to do that. The doctor said everything came back perfect- the blood work, the spinal tap, the urinalysis and the CT Scan! This was the best news in the world to us...no cancer, no meningitis and no brain tumor! PRAISE GOD! God heard my prayers!

The doctor said he usually doesnt allow first time seizure patients to go home, they usually are admitted for one night because once you have a seizure your chance of having another is 50%..but because the results were good and Desmond was in such a good mood and seemed to be doing so well- the doctor decided we could go home. We had been there for 6 hours.

Now we are just being very cautious. We see Desmond pediatrician tomorrow and will need to follow up with a nurologist at some point. We do not know why Desmond had this seizure but like the doctor explained to us, we often times do not ever know why. Many people will just have one (or two) seizures in their life and be fine, with no explanation- we are praying that Desmond is in that category. We are SO relieved that no tumors, meningitis or major diseases were shown through his tests today. We will be watching carefully and we have a bag ready so we are prepared to head back to the hospital if another seizure occurs.

Please pray along with our family and friends that Desmond never experiences a seizure again. And also please praise God that He answered our prayers that our son doesnt have a major illness that caused this seizure this morning. He heard my cry and Im SO thankful that HE had mercy our son. I couldnt have gotten through this day without my belief in God, I would have been so lost and afraid...I was afraid, but Im so blessed that I had my Faith in God to cling to. And Im also thankful that I had and have the support of so many family and friends. I never realized what a comfort that support could be to us during a time like this. it really does touch you and get you through.

Desmond is sleeping now, he played for a while when he got home but you can tell this day really wore him out. He is feeling much better as far as the stomach bug goes, he hasnt had symptoms of that since yesterday afternoon/evening. We will be watching him very closely from now on and cherishing our son even more. Today is a day we will  never forget, hopefully we will never experience anything like it again.

How precious is Your loving kindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. Psalm 36:7